Procrastination and Other Drugs

Well, it's been an almost obscenely long time since I've written here. Again. Oops. In my defense I do spend an awful lot of time on the computer, so maybe the subconscious doesn't want to do this too? That's pretty weak.

What's even weaker is the reason for this post. You're seeing this now because I'd rather do almost anything else than what I have to do, which is finish an assignment. Silly, right? Especially given that the assignment is totally self-directed, I made up the question, I did the research and now all that remains is that I have to write it up. Blah.

Enough of that. Let's comment on life. I still work at the Zoo although not for much longer. Time has sped by, which is usually the case when we're having a good time, isn't it? I've seen so many cool things that I never thought I would have experienced if you'd asked me a year ago. Yesterday I saw a baby marmoset, for pete's sake. They are pretty cute. About the size of a chipmunk, but a fully formed primate. Which brings me to the subject of primates in general. I have decided that they may be among my least favourite animal classes. They're so much like us, it can be off-putting. I don't know if I like seeing so much of myself in an animal.

Now, this could be construed as a comment on zoos in general, which it really isn't. I have no problem with the ethical curation of living collections, combined with a safe environment, excellent health care and nutrition, and responsible breeding, research, and conservation efforts. This is how animals are treated here and it is done very well. And given the other activities of humans, habitat destruction, pollution, poaching and other irresponsible behaviours, this is the only way we're going to be able to preserve some of these species until human attitudes change. For example I heard today that there may now be more tigers in captivity than in the wild. If we don't want to destroy the species, we're going to have to keep them here. Some might say that we're interfering with the logical progression of nature, but since we caused the problem, it is for us to do what we can to solve it.

I don't know if that was very articulate, or even had much of a point, but at least it's a post. And now it's done. And I have to work on the paper. That is it. Goodbye.

Ta-Dah!

Otherwise known as the best way to introduce a dramatic entrance, if you weren't aware. I actually practiced some entrances a couple of weeks ago, and I sense that the internet is just dying to hear allllll about them.

We went to Nuit Blanche in Toronto, all night arts festival. A few interesting things happened, and there were certainly things to look at. Highlights: Royal Conservatory of Music (even though there was a line, it was nowhere near as long as they led one to believe it would be), the floating filmstrip, a van with thousands of holes in it, really late-night fried rice, City Hall - especially glowing cube and ball of elastics, and photographs at Bau-Xi Photo. Lowlights: CRAZY people on the bus, kind of disappointing Holt Renfrew facade thing, equally or perhaps more disappointing ROM facade thing, and 40 minute round trip to discover that the "secret" installation was no big secret and then hitting my head on it.

What does this have to do with entrances? Well, I arrived in line for the RCM thing with a certain amount of panache, and then proceeded to celebrate winning a small argument with more enthusiasm than I generally display in public. This I think set the tone.

Enough about that, let's talk about the Zoo! Where I work! For free! Because the city bus is capricious at best - malicious at worst - I often arrive with some drama here as well. The days are blending together a bit, but it's a rare week when I arrive on time more than three times in a row. It seems self-evident to me that if a city/province wants people to use mass transit, that city/province should guarantee service. I'm not asking for expansions or improvements, at least at this time, all I want is the bus to show up within 3-5 minutes of the posted time, not 30-40. Yes, that's really all.

Having completed the rant, here's an animal picture for you. My favourite pavilion at the Zoo is the smallest one, Malayan Woods. It has free range butterflies, a couple of cool bugs, a giant fish, birds, snakes and the clouded leopard, one of the world's cutest cats. So, a bit of everything, a fun rainforest climate, and less than five minutes from my desk! I may make a surreptitiously dramatic entrance there at the end of the day. Would not want to frighten the animals.

Homelessness is no joke. Fortunately for you, I'm funny.

Well, the lease is up on the fabulous downtown apartment. Oh for the day that I can actually afford a downtown Toronto condo. Although when that day comes, it will be in a building that has windows that open and possibly even balconies.

The housing situation was stressful and dicey for a while, but now it is more or less resolved, at least for the short term. It is very very very close to work, which I think is in the end the most serious consideration at least at this time.

And what is work, you may ask? Well, it's Zoo! Unfortunately, it does not look like I'll be getting keys to all the animal enclosures, but I do get to go there for several weeks! Yay! No real idea yet as to what the work might be, but I have a little desk, and a kind of lame nametag, and things so far are good. Except my feet. I really need new walking shoes, and six hours hiking in the ones I wore today is leading to some blistering. Boo.

Interesting facts about my desk: it is full of apparently meaningless files, as my supervisor just pushed them aside and removed stuff at random to make a place for my purse. It also has an open bag of elbow macaroni in the top drawer. Said supervisor also suggested I could make myself at home there and that I was "...free to bring your own macaroni if you want to..." I think that may be an exact quote, and the intent is certainly the same. What, may I ask, would I be needing macaroni for? I'm pretty sure they're having me work on training manuals.

Finally, I got a souvenir today! Bird droppings on my head! And I don't even mind! Because animal stuff doesn't freak me out, except naked mole rats (ugly, ugly, ugly, even if they do have names, like 'Kevin'), and imagining the giant cockroaches anywhere else but in their case. I also don't particularly want to be there when the big cats are given their weekly whole or half beef heads as nourishing toys. It's kind of like giving a Kong toy to a domestic pet, I guess, but it's the head of a cow. Ewww. Better find out when those feedings are just in case I happen to be in the Nutrition Centre that day for some reason.

So, this post ended up not being about housing, really, but that should be okay. Tune in for more stories.

Phase II

The archives job is over. Sad violins play softly in the background. It has been really cool, and I think that the 1500 scans are an impressive feat. It's also been really nice to have a routine. I know that I always say that my ideal career has me not doing the same thing every day, and that's still true, but there is something to be said for keeping regular hours.

I should have drawn a picture, or something, to commemorate the achievement, but I have recently been introduced to the work of Demetri Martin, and I now know that I'm just sort of funny. That guy is hilarious. Situational humour, observational even, which is the kind of funny that I like to think that I am, but way, way more. So probably no more drawings from me unless I come up with something really good.

Some of you, who are familiar with the pseudo-asthma that inspired the title of this blog, will be happy to know that I had another dramatic moment on Saturday. Luckily, with a little coaching, I was able to calm down and not suffocate. So, in the future, if it happens again, it can be cured by forcing me to breathe more slowly - in on count 1, out on count 2. Helpful trick!

I wonder if Thursday can come to my next apartment (the cat). There is one here, but she lacks personality and looks, and is currently out in the common room making the most odd and pathetic noises. She has resisted most attempts at friendliness and now it is over. But a furry friend would be nice. If you have a dog you're not using, let me know.

More blogging when the occasion warrants, I promise!

Sticky Back Velcro*

*Or, "Things that sound like a good idea but actually aren't"

So, as may be apparent, the focus of this post will be my recent experiences with stick-on Velcro circles, squares, tabs, tape or whatever. It does have some uses, and this is in no way an indictment of the people that make the stuff (3M maybe?), but of its misguided application. It is EXTREMELY hard to remove. Each tiny tab must be sawed off the back of the photo with the letter opener, and then the adhesive residue removed with a combination of fingernails and white vinyl eraser. (The "white vinyl" qualifier is for the MMCs. Because you care.) This makes my fingers sore. I have done five and a half of the nine prints in the set and it's getting pretty grim. Don't put sticky Velcro on a photo. Unless you're going to want to throw that one out.

Fine then. Change the subject, why don't you? Something happy, like baseball on the radio. I love baseball on the radio. It's nostalgic, even if it's nostalgia for another time. It also reminds me of my dad, who is pretty great, and also likes baseball on the radio. I love the obscurity of the stats, the voices of the announcers, and the really retro advertisers that can afford to sponsor baseball on AM radio, like local hardware stores. Makes me feel like I live in the 1940s.

I'm going to go home and put on a dress, and a snazzy hat, some pearls, gloves, and spectator pumps. Never mind that I don't have most of that stuff, it's the thought that counts!

Milestones

Sooo. Halfway through Week 7 at the Archives (imagine that to the tune of "Midnight at the Oasis". You're doing it now, aren't you.) I can't believe how the time has flown. I wish I could stay longer! But the Zoo will also be majorly cool. So there is that.

Today, I made my supervisor a little drawing to commemorate a special milestone that has been reached. Although it is now clear that I will not complete the photo collection, because no one could, it is equally clear that I will be able to exceed the expected number of entries by about 25%. Excellent. Here's the drawing:

Besides the awesome drawing skills, make sure you take note of the superior scanning techniques: nice, even colouration, straight edges, yeah, I do this for a living.

Don't worry. My 4x6 colour prints are better. Much, much, better. And described with an equal amount of panache.

So, celebrate! I will be getting some extra sleep in order to mark the occasion.

I like to be a leader.

Well, mostly I just like people to follow me. In my head, I prefer to maintain that I popularized a certain late-90s hairstyle at my high school. I know it's not really true, but I do happen to know that it really suited me, and no one else wore it quite so often. Although they did wear it, after I did.

That's something I really miss. Leadership. Being a joiner, I have had lots of training, and now it seems increasingly irrelevant. This is probably a sign that some sort of organization should be joined, in order that I can eventually rule it. The current workplace is pretty cooperative, and I think I'll be at the bottom of the heap at the next one, so work is likely out. That is one thing about small town vs. big city. It's easier to find groups you'd like to be in, or groups that you may as well be in, in the small town, where you already know what's going on. Hmmmm.

I guess I did spearhead a small project yesterday. I mean minuscule, but every little thing counts. I read that in this institution we have what is called a Labyrinth. Now, before you get excited, David Bowie and creepy children are not involved. Instead, the Labyrinth is a clever maze made out of carpeting, upon which you are supposed to walk. After traversing the entire path and arriving at the centre, you will have had time to meditate, concentrate, leave all your problems behind, and heal yourself. So I decided we should go see it. In the tradition of last week's field trip to see the Queen at the Legislature building. It was not as big as I was hoping it would be, and it was possibly even colder in the room than it is in our office (20.4 degrees on a good day), but it was a pleasing purple colour.

Remind me to head back up there if I get a cold. Or something worse. I believe that faith healing works if the one that needs the healing believes, but that's as far as I'm willing to go.

And that will do for now. Follow me!